"You have to be healed, then you will be able to find love"

This is a letter in reply to a friend who has been sweet enough to try and help me. Here is the last part, it is all anonymous, but this is an arguement I have heard since day 1.
Here is a portion of her letter :"Yes I have love now, but it wasn't until I cured myself of my disease that I was able to find love. Nobody would have wanted me when I was miserable and the only way not to be miserable was to heal myself by focusing on myself, the positive and making physical steps to feeling better. Only when I was truly happy with me and only me, did I find true love. Happiness has nothing to do with suffering.I'm just talking to you from the other side hoping I could help you come through what I have already come through. I'm glad to hear you are seeking therapy, and I hope you are able to feel better soon"
Everyone is so sure and very sweet to even bother trying to get through to me, so I can't feel anything but good thoughts towards you all. There are some realities though that are not adressed so :
I took me a while, rough week, but I have my meds reviewed and changed a little so I am hopeful for feeling even. The spins I suffer through are spikes up or down in serotonin and if I am better at taking my meds precicely on the new times we hope I'll even out.
About loving yourself. I get this all the time. I love myself, like myself, even admire myself! So I am sick, hate my life, my pain, but as for me, personnally...I am awesome, ask anyone who spends more than 10 minutes with me!!LOL I love myself and have for a long time.
The real question is : Can anyone love anyone who is ill? The idea I have to be fixed to love myself, then have someone love me seems a little pat. Oprah and Dr. Phill agree with you and millions more do as well. I don't assocoiate those who expect you to be fixed to become worthy of love. I have worked with the handicapped, mentally and physically handicapped and they will never be fixed. They are as they are. They get my love. Frinedship is different than partnership for sure so lets get more focused on partnership to be accurate.To become partners with someone who isn't repaired seems pretty normal. I think we have been sold a crock of shit that makes 2 classes of people. We think that we can take the broken, tell them to repair and then they become worthy to jump classes to the loveable. How hard. How Harsh. How inhuman. I will never ascribe to putting the onus on the victim for thier own plight. Not a rape victim, not a traffic accident victim, not a victim of birth, nor a victim of circumstance. Recognising and allowing for what is "wrong" is a good way to begin an honest relationship with a real human who doesn't have to hide anything about themselves, even thier horrible "unfit for love" situation, thier being broken. I am saddened that you believe you were only open to love when you were better. That time alone must have been hard. I truly think if what you have is real end enduring, till death us do part like my mom and dad had, that you can be loved in any state. I have proof.My ex Vicky found me at my lowest ever. I could be out of the house 10 minutes at the most, this is after I was almost murdered.I was lovable because who I am is still there. Who I am never died. Who I am is visable to those who have true compassion and don't let the world give them excuses to join in with, so everyone can find comfort in shared heartlessness. I find it so amazing how many good people believe as you do, but it is the popular way to think for 15 years now so the amazement is worn off for the most part.I think you are worth loving no matter your state. As a matter of fact, I think you need more love the worse you are, which is completely opposite from"heal then be worthy". Seriously, can't you see that? Can't I change your mind? The funnt thing is, if someone whould have cared enough for you when you were down at your lowest you would have suffered so much less.
I find the attitudes of people so perplexing. Self fullfillment before family. Work not Love. take not give.....and then bitch that the world is harsh and there should be more like "me". I bitch becuse love is dying, care is dissappearing, hope is dwindling and white folk keep drinking wine and eating take out. Your next door neighbor may be hanging himself because nobody will say good morning because he isn't fixed yet and needs to work harder on fixing himself.I guess we are arguing now. I should stop. Everyone ends up pissed at me, cause, although they don't mind challlenging me to do this and that like I have boundless energy and have never tried to help myself in 14 years. I get challeneged every day, but nobody seems to accept being challeneged back, typical and expected by now.I am open to love being sick and I am as well as I can be at this moment in time, with the pressures of this economy and life in general being faced all alone.You found your way and are super happy, in love, loved, have financial and emotional help. You sleep with someone, kissthem and have them hold you, all because you fixed yourself and found a guy who liked you when you were fixed and shiney because he wants someone fixed not broken.I want something far different as to be alien. I wantr someone who is caring, loyal compassionate, kind and loving who can see that I am worth it. When they get cancer, I won't leave. If they break, I won't leave. If they loose thier job, I won't leave. She won't leave because I am broken either. That is love like my mom and dad had. You are happy and found your road and in 10 years you will still be happy, 20 years too, the same guy to be there for your life...I will be too with the kind of woman I am compatable with and she will not want me "fixed" or not at all, and I will give her the same devotion.